Introduction: A Story That Reveals a Larger Problem

Over the past year, I have been accompanying a Richmond family through a painful and unsettling experience. For privacy, I will call the parent A, the child B, and the school C. Their story is not shared to blame individuals, but to reflect on deeper questions facing our public education system. B is a kindergartener, and the students who repeatedly bullied B were much older. This was not a conflict between peers or a misunderstanding among classmates. It was a pattern of aggression from older students toward a small, young child who had no way to defend themselves. As I listened to A and spoke with others, it became clear that these older students had also targeted other younger children. This was not an isolated incident but a pattern of harm affecting multiple families, multiple classrooms, and the overall sense of safety in the school community.

A Child Hurt, a Family Afraid

The most serious incident happened on the playground outside the school, where the older students attacked B so severely that B had to be taken to urgent care and was diagnosed with a minor concussion. A concussion at five years old, caused by older students on school grounds, is something no family should ever have to face. After that day, B became afraid of going to school, and A stopped sleeping, worried every night about B’s safety. No parent should ever have to send their child to school with fear in their chest. A did everything they were supposed to do: they reported the incidents, asked for help, and followed the procedures. I also stepped in to support, helping A connect with a school trustee and speaking with the assistant superintendent. The principal at C followed the district’s processes, at least on paper. And yet, the bullying continued—not only toward B, but toward other younger children as well.

When Procedures Are Followed but Protection Fails

This is where the deeper concern lies. When a group of older students repeatedly harms younger ones, even after urgent care visits, formal complaints, and district-level involvement, it becomes clear that something in the system is not functioning as it should. Policies were followed, but protection did not happen. Procedures alone cannot keep a child safe. Forms cannot replace presence. Privacy cannot become a barrier to reassurance. Because of confidentiality rules, A was never told whether the older students’ parents were contacted, whether conversations took place at home, or whether any meaningful intervention happened. What A did know was that the harm continued—and that other families were experiencing similar fear. I am certain this is not a single case or isolated incident. When multiple younger children are being targeted, it signals a broader cultural issue that cannot be solved by paperwork alone.

Why Moving Bullies Does Not Solve the Problem

Some might suggest transferring the older students to another school. But if the underlying behaviour is not addressed, the bullying will simply continue in a new environment. The victims change, but the pattern remains. This is not a solution; it is displacement. Without real intervention, guidance, and accountability, the behaviour will reappear elsewhere, and new children will be harmed. A responsible school system must focus on behavioural change, not relocation.

Kindness Week Is Not Enough

Many schools run “Kindness Week” or teach general lessons about being kind. These are good initiatives, but they mostly benefit the children who are already kind. For students who are repeatedly harming others, especially younger children, kindness posters and assemblies are not enough. These students need direct intervention, counselling, clear boundaries, parental involvement, opportunities to understand the impact of their actions, and long-term support. Kindness campaigns build atmosphere, but behavioural change requires deeper work.

Supporting and Equipping the Children Who Were Harmed

Just as importantly, younger children like B—and the other children who were targeted—also need to be equipped and supported. This is not about telling them to fight back or to toughen up. It is about helping them understand what bullying is, how to ask for help, how to use simple language to report harm, and how to rebuild confidence and emotional resilience. They need to feel safe, believed, and supported. Families like A’s also need clear communication from the school, reassurance that their child is protected, guidance on how to support their child emotionally, and access to counselling if needed.

Another reason this support is essential is that children who have been harmed may encounter another bully in the future. We cannot assume that one intervention will eliminate all risk. What we can do is ensure that these children are not left powerless or alone. Equipping them with emotional tools, supportive adults, and a clear sense of their own worth helps them face future challenges with confidence rather than fear. Safety is not only about stopping the bullies; it is also about strengthening and empowering the children who were harmed so they can navigate future situations with resilience and support.

A Call for a Culture of Safety and Responsibility

Walking with A and B this year has reminded me that strong public education depends on trust. Trust grows when communication is clear, when concerns are taken seriously, and when parents feel they are true partners in keeping children safe. This is not about blame. It is about responsibility. It is about culture. It is about ensuring that every child—especially our youngest and most vulnerable—is protected, supported, and able to learn without fear. As a community, we can reflect together on how to build a school system where parents like A never have to wonder whether their child’s safety is being handled behind closed doors, and where every child, no matter their age or size, can walk onto a playground without fear.

前言：一個故事揭示更大的問題

在過去的一年裡，我一直陪伴著一個列治文家庭，走過一段令人心痛又不安的經歷。為了保護隱私，我將家長稱為 A、孩子稱為 B、學校稱為 C。我分享這個故事，不是為了指責任何人，而是希望反思我們公共教育系統中更深層的問題。B 是一名幼稚園學生，而多次欺負 B 的，是年紀大得多的學生。這不是同齡之間的衝突，也不是同班同學之間的誤會，而是年長學生對年幼孩子的持續傷害。從 A 的敘述和其他人的分享中，我逐漸明白：這些年長學生也曾欺負其他年幼的孩子。這不是單一事件，而是一種持續性的傷害模式，影響了多個家庭、多個班級，也動摇了整個學校社群的安全感。

孩子受傷，家庭恐懼

最嚴重的一次事件發生在校外的遊樂場。年長學生對 B 施暴，嚴重到需要送往急診，並被診斷為輕微腦震盪。一個五歲的孩子，因為年長學生的暴力而腦震盪。從那天起，B 開始害怕上學，而 A 每晚都睡不好，擔心 B 的安全。沒有任何家長應該帶著恐懼送孩子上學。A 做了所有應該做的事：報告事件、尋求協助、遵循程序。我也介入協助——幫 A 聯繫學務委員，並與副教育總監溝通。C 校長在程序上似乎都有跟進。然而，欺凌仍然持續——不只針對 B，也針對其他年幼的孩子。

程序都有做，但保護沒有發生

這正是問題的核心。當年長學生在多次投訴、醫療介入、甚至學區層級的關注後，仍然持續傷害年幼孩子，這顯示系統某個環節沒有真正運作。程序都有做，但孩子沒有被保護。程序不能取代安全，表格不能取代陪伴，隱私不能成為拒絕透明的理由。因為隱私規定，A 從未被告知年長學生的家長是否被通知、是否有家庭對話、是否有真正的介入措施。A 唯一知道的是：傷害還在發生——而且不只他們一家。我也很確定，這絕不是單一個案。當多名年幼孩子被針對時，這反映的是更深層的文化問題，而不是程序問題。

轉校不是解決方案

有人可能會建議把這些年長學生轉到另一所學校。但如果沒有真正的介入與改變，他們到了新環境後，只會繼續欺負新的孩子。受害者換了，但模式不會改變。這不是解決方案，這只是轉移問題。沒有真正的介入、引導與責任教育，行為只會在別處重演——新的孩子會受傷。

善意週不夠

許多學校會舉辦「善意週」或教導「友善待人」。這些活動很好，但主要受益的是本來就友善的孩子。對於那些持續傷害他人的學生，尤其是年長欺負年幼者，善意海報和口號是不夠的。他們需要的是直接介入、輔導、清楚的界線、家長的參與、理解自己行為的影響，以及長期的支持。善意活動能營造氣氛，但行為改變需要更深的工作。

支持與裝備被傷害的孩子

同時，像 B 和其他年幼孩子，也需要被裝備與支持。這不是要他們反擊，也不是要他們變堅強，而是要讓他們了解什麼是欺凌、知道如何尋求協助、學會用簡單明確的語言表達受傷、建立自信與情緒韌性、感受到安全、被相信、被支持，並在創傷後重新建立信任。像 A 這樣的家長也需要清楚的學校溝通、對孩子安全的具體保證、如何陪伴孩子情緒的指引、必要時的輔導資源，以及一個願意與他們同行的社群。

另一個重要的原因是：被傷害過的孩子，未來仍有可能遇到另一個欺凌者。我們不能假設一次介入就能消除所有風險，但我們可以確保這些孩子不再無助或孤單。透過情緒教育、成人支持，以及重新建立自我價值，他們能在未來面對挑戰時，不是帶著恐懼，而是帶著力量。安全不只是阻止欺凌者，也包括強化與裝備被傷害的孩子，讓他們在未來遇到困難時能夠更有韌性、更有支持。

建立安全與責任的文化

陪伴 A 和 B 的這段時間提醒我：強健的公共教育建立在信任之上。信任來自清晰的溝通、認真的回應，以及家長感受到自己是孩子安全的真正夥伴。這不是責怪，而是責任，是文化，是確保每一個孩子——尤其是最年幼、最脆弱的——都能在沒有恐懼的環境中學習與成長。願我們的社群能一起反思：如何建立一個讓像 A 這樣的家長不再擔心孩子安全被關在黑箱裡的教育系統——一個讓每個孩子，不論年齡大小，都能安心走進操場的地方。